Late Night Confessions...

Late Night Confessions

He was very silent, a first maybe, but he’d had lots of nights like this one, where he barely spoke or grumbled a word to his co-hearts, besides they’d think it was just another one of his..’moments’ anyways.  Late, very late..again, as always, when of course his mind would have to race, keep him up all night..  He just wanted a peaceful..quiet night!

Cause every time he’d try to think of all the reasons for what happened he came up blank, of all the things he could have done, would have done, he had to do the most stupidest thing he could have thought of, ever...  He’d gotten Riley punched..not grounded, not scorned..well maybe..but this time he did it!  He went too far..again.

Anger slowly rose out of his bed, taking his time rolling himself out of the quaint little four-poster, all his thoughts, feelings, and regrets..they never let him sleep anymore..  His head ached, like it was on fire, on the inside, how could he be so damn stupid..?  Disgust would have loved to answer that he just bet, “Why I do it kid..why? I thought I had the right idea..now you’re in trouble again..cause of me!”

He barely felt his bare feet hit the cold hard wooden floor of his little bedroom, “Now..what should I do..?” the question made him stop, unbidden it came out of his mouth before he truly thought about it, like everything else.

“Kid, what did I do!?” Anger’s voice trailed, as he waddled towards his little scorched door, slightly frowning at his appearance in the handle, “Yeah..nice, boxers, tank top..some floppy piece of shit they call a sleep cap”, his voice grumbled as he stomped downstairs, hearing the snores of Joy and the sleep talk of a sleeping Fear, “Even in his sleep he can’t shut the hell up!”

 Course the boy had to talk, he’d keep himself up too with his worries, it actually worried Anger..though he wouldn’t admit it, he really kinda liked the beanpole, well..he was like a brother to him..  He chuckled as he walked closer to the console and the doorway to the kitchen, a good cup of water would do the trick.

 The red brick paused though, taking in the quiet of Headquarters, thought she’d be awake then…the voice taunted him, making him crunch down his teeth in pain, yeah I thought so..maybe talk to you..? Why she want to talk to ‘you’? The last bit hurt..alot.

 Why..? He’d picked up this strange talking to himself, back when he’d thought they were gone..he’d never done it a lot before..the others already thought he didn’t belong..they didn’t need him around..did they? But still it nagged, and taunted, you think she even likes you...

Before he had gone two steps from the stairs though, the small red brick turned to look back, there on the screen before his bloodshot eyes, were one of the things that made his whole body ache on the outside: Riley all alone, sure it was a dream..but he stared.  His gaze and soon his feet pattered over quicker than his mind could react.

“Oh my..crud. Kid…I..” his hand went up to the screen touching it lightly as he could, his whole body shook, she in the dream, she was alone..totally alone..sitting there..crying..it wasn’t real! Right? It couldn’t be..it was just a dream, with people playing their parts!  It wasn’t her..but it was.

Then why he feel like a crumb right now?  She was lying there her blonde hair in front of a face covered in bruises, her right eye black and swollen and her front tooth knocked out..no…  It wasn’t like that..it wasn’t, tell me it wasn’t like that for ya kid..  You were alright, you weren’t that hurt..  Were you? Not my girl!

But there she lay, beside her mom, Riley turned her hurt visage almost on him, and his jaw dropped, see what happens when you don’t think! The voice moved, letting him stand, alone..silent and pale faced, the red dimmed and turned to a slow white as his flame literally went out.

“Why are you up!?” No, not her..not right now...he thought, slowly feeling his fist shaking, “Your up late don’t you think..in your underwear!”

“Stuff it okay!” Anger didn’t mean to be rude, he just wanted to be..well think.. “I can’t get any sleep..it’s too hot in there..”, he stammered, feeling his temper rise.  Smoke thick and black rose from his top, it hurt..sometimes, “Wait where were you anyway”, he pointed his meaty finger at her.

“Uh..well I was getting some tea actually..”, Disgust sighed, moving her hands around the dainty little ornate tea cup Joy had given to her for one Christmas, “I really needed to try some apple spice”, he slumped, again he forgot it was her turn at console..

“I well..” His fist went down as he huffed out an apology, she glared her green eyes at him, like he cared anyways, he needed some space..  “I just wanted a cup of water...” Anger spun himself around trying to get out of her visage, but the thought of hurting his girl, came back to his mind, sharp and painful.

 “So you see this dream tonight?” Disgust’s finger pointed, “She’s been having that one all night I swear, I wish you’d tell us..what got you started when that happened..?”  She was talking about the fight between that girl and Riley of course. His choice was to get his girl through the ring of fire, “Her name was Brenda wasn’t it?”

You’re not trying to make me feel more guilt are you? He thought, “I guess I really messed up huh?” Anger tried very hard to hide the hitch cracking in his voice, but it came out thick, and a lump formed in his throat as she turned narrowed eyes at him.

“Uh duh! Yeah..I know you don’t like to think brickhead but ya know, brains matter over brawn..” Okay that hurt.., his mind thought, as Disgust kept talking, her voice became like a nagging feeling in the back of his head, “You hit that girl first..then she had her friends get us..you happy!” The tone went hearsh.

That’s not how this happened?! “That’s not how that happened and you know it!” He bellowed, fists flying, “I dimly recall she was spreading all those horrible rumors that made Riley upset..you know like that one about her kissing that boy and then dumping him in front of the whole school”, he saw her face flash, Disgust’s hand went up, her mouth pursed.

“You know, that other rumor where they had told everyone she got her ‘you know what’ in the locker room, we touched that button that puberty button, and look what that thing did to our girl!”, Anger hollered louder than he intended too, becoming quite pained by the flames licking out of his head.

Disgust just stared opened mouthed, her eyes going from the screen where she watched Riley get punched out and getting into trouble to the red emotion who’d just sat down, defeated, like he’d lost heart. His flames flickered off him like little torches as she felt her hand prick sharply, the look on his face when they both stared at each other was nothing compared to his.

“What did I do…to you!” Anger voiced aloud, Disgust’s face turned down to her hand as she saw the red and brown burnt marks, left by an angry and scared Anger himself, at that moment he did the only thing he could do..he ran.

As soft almost pleading eyes trailed after him, he dashed for the library; no one ever went in there anyway..a trail of tears were sliding down his face by the time he came to the heavy wooden brass door,  “What have I done..”, he said sliding the door closed behind him, ignoring the fact his head spun..

I hurt her..I burnt her…  It was my fault..I started it..I never meant to..first the kid, then Disgust, who else ya going to hurt today..  You should be locked away..they should chain me up..I see why they’re scared of me now…  Anger’s face was lined in small tears, as he slumped his hick body against the doors, leaning for all their support.

He shook, how could he say sorry..? She was well..like a sister after all of that..this..whatever..she still was important to him..so why he do it? I need help, I need something..maybe there’s something in those big books I never read..  He got up, slapping a hand over his mouth and wandered over, his feet dragging on the harsh ground.

Grabbing a thick yellowed book out from the shelf in front of him, he never heard the pairs of two sets of feet running for the hallway where he was, “Guess all I ever do..is get myself and you in trouble..I’m afraid that I’ll screw up that bad again..that badly like I did then..I did it again..I was wrong...”, and again kid, I let you down, I failed you.. 

Hesitantly he touched his cheek, and felt the hot tear cascade, rubbing at his eyes he slid down against the wooden shelf feeling his back compress into the hard sharp wood, “Why do I hurt you over and over again, it seems like I’m just doing worse for ya, I’m supposed..to be a watcher..a guide for you..I’m so sorry!”

He would apologize to himself every night, every time he closed his stupid eyes, every time he looked in the mirror, he would say he was sorry..for Riley he needed her to hear that, he needed her to know he was sorry..for all the things he did. He..wasn’t right every time, he didn’t know what to do anymore, he didn’t need control he needed comfort, he wanted to tell her he was sorry.

“I wish I was gentler for you kid..you’re like the only one in the world I would fight for..kid..I’d go to the sun if it meant to save ya from anything, I’d burn to help ya..  If only I could try..to change this once…”, his mumbled words caught the attention of two ears, and Disgust touched the door, Sadness who9’d she’d gotten went in, not bothering knocking, he needed them..

“Anger..?” Her voice called quietly enough for the trembling emotion to look up from his whisper words and gaze hurt deep within his brownish-red eyes, “Anger..I’m just here to say I’m sorry okay?” She offered, her words doing nothing to make him feel better at all.

His eyes traced the burn marks on her hand, “I...”, he sighed inwardly, deep and took another shot, “I need a moment please!” He pleaded, his eyes grew to form that sad look he often took when no one was watching him, “I need..to talk..”, he shook his head in silence.

“Anger..please let us help you”, Disgust spoke, slowly as if talking to Fear,  “Please”, he felt that tug as his whatever in him prickled, and he gulped down hard, fast as she could she grabbed the fleeing emotion’s arm, “Please Anger.it wasn’t your fault!”

“It was..I know..you see her face when Brenda got that boy to hit her, I..my whole being is to protect our girl”, he spoke so softly that Disgust glanced at Sadness, who inched ever so closely to him, placing her hand on his hard actually soft face as tears streamed from them, “Please you two, I can’t..”, do this…

Sadness came so close he felt her glow start to heat up his side, it dampened his inner fire, making him less hot, less lonely..his face flushed pink before she looked in his red eyes and almost touched his hand, “I can’t..sometimes help Riley..I use to feel like I never helped in any way...”

You too kid, “Well kid, I know how we treated you..but I can’t do this..I’m losing my sense of focus..I’m hurting her too much, too fast..too soon!” Anger’s deep growl came out hoarse as he coughed.

“You okay Anger, we do care about you..this..”, Disgust pointed to her burn, “Isn’t your fault..well never mind..I didn’t help..I should have seen your face when you stood there...” he gasped, she saw him like that..all vulnerable, his face went pinker.

“Disgust, please tell me I’m doing my job, wold someone tell me..I’m not hurting her anymore..first she ran away..then this..what next?  I’m the biggest jerk I’ve ever met!” He trembled hard, face going pale, eyes turning down as he knew a blue hand gripped his red, and he looked up into her blue beautiful eyes, “I need some help!”

The last thing he would ever admit to anyone, there it was out, finally it was out, he could breathe, “I know sad...your aura feels so much..different Anger”, she hugged him..him? She put her arms around his reddish body, and a little smile tugged at her face.

“Your making me blush...” Anger chided, making his hand go to his face, covering his flushed cheeks, as Disgust took his arms in hers, “You two are well..more to me then you know”.

…So the others...

“You alright now..?” Her small voice lugged him out of his thoughts, “You look tired...”, he did he knew.

If only I could say how you make me feel kid…

“You’re doing your job Anger, better than you think, better than I could...”, Sadness cried, it broke his heart to see her upset cause of him, “Your like our friend..”

Friend?...

“Your our brother…too, you big lug!” Disgust said, gazing down at her feet, “No matter how much I want to yell at you!” He came closer, stepping lightly on bare feet; he grimaced as a sharp burn in his head made him fall.

“I think you need sleep…” Sadness said in all concern, she and Disgust lifted the tired red brick up as he felt the pink come to his face again.

“I think I’d like that..but I can’t”, the nightmare come again..I can’t face them..he sighed slapping a foot towards the doorway, “You coming or am I dragging the both of ya to bed”.

“Okay Daddy Anger”, came Disgust’s retort, causing him to spit out and grimace at the nickname.

“Okay no!” Anger frowned, his arms closing around his chest.

“Your use of ‘my girl’ does not go unnoticed”.

“F…”, she glared at him, and his hands flew up in defense, “Fine..crud!  One day I’ll get to say that word...” he huffed, accusingly, making for the kitchen again, slowly he came to the door, to make out Sadness following him, “You’ve seen me cry, what else do ya want?”

“Uh..I kinda wondered if you were alright.” The little hopeful smile didn’t go unnoticed by him, as he held out his hand and tugged her inside.

“No..I’m really just tired..maybe a little in pain..and Disgust saw my mushy side so I’m all up for that!” He placed his hand to his mug, “So tea..coffee..maybe some warm milk, kid?”

“Uh..I just want..”, she blushed under her galsses.

“What..some water?”

“No..I wanted to maybe spend the night with you!” Sadness said looking up quietly.

“Oh then in that case, sure...” the smile on his face turned to confusion as he went to the couch to finish up dream duty, he felt the kiss on his cheek as his eyes fluttered close, “I love ya”, he murmured as she slowly walked to the console, “Goodnight both of ya!”

What happens when you love someone ya work with..and can’t find the words..   And I know they’re there..those annoying things in my mind, talking to me though those reactions..  It’s like that thing Fear says I guess chemicals or something?

What happens when..they take notice? And then they’re gone just like that,,poof, nothing.  Feelings, are hard especially cause they’re mine..what do I do now..? Well..I guess she knows..cause of my big stupid mouth!\

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys, I hoped you enjoyed the last chapter of Moments of Emotion, and I hope you enjoy my other two projects, Out of the Inside(a sequel of the movie),and Fifty Little Emotions(fluff between well the characters)

Thanks for reading my stuff, though it’s terrible…that’s it’s all over!